Reading 'Desire and Spirituality' - Distinguishing Between My Desire and Imitative Desire

Before reading this book, I was just someone who followed the achievements and possessions of others. I didn't properly understand where my greed came from or why it was a problem. I came to realize that my desires stemmed from 'mimetic desire' (모방 욕망), which arises from comparison with others.

I have a strong desire to be recognized. This is probably not unique to me. After all, in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the need for esteem, the desire to be recognized, is placed at the 4th level. While it's not more important than physiological needs, in today's society, where social development and economic activities are central, we cannot ignore the need for recognition.

The book 'Desire and Spirituality' (욕망과 영성) I read contains an interpretation and application of mimetic desire, as discussed by René Girard, from a biblical perspective. In fact, I didn't even know who René Girard was, nor was I familiar with the term 'mimetic desire'. I've only recently learned that Girard and mimetic desire are quite famous.

Biblical Figures as Greedy Beings / Humans, Past and Present, are Greedy Beings

The first thing I learned from this book is that humans, both in the past and present, are greedy beings, and that there are quite a few characters in the Bible who exhibit mimetic desire. I was able to see the human frailty and sinfulness that harbors desire in many figures, such as Cain and Abel, Joseph and his brothers, and David.

For example, David, already a king ruling his kingdom and with a wife, displays a greedy nature by coveting the wife of his loyal subject. Biblical figures are not necessarily perfect. Because they are human, they possess the nature of sin and are unable to restrain their greedy actions.

Furthermore, the Ten Commandments, with instructions like 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house' and 'You shall not commit adultery', reveal that we are full of greed. How sinful and greedy were we that God had to prohibit such actions through the Ten Commandments? Human nature is the same regardless of time, whether in Israel, Korea, or any other country.

Others' Desires Become My Desires – Mimetic Desire

With the rise of social media, we are living increasingly comparative lives. We see photos and posts from other people and start to mistakenly believe that we too must have expensive items, luxurious food, and travel to beautiful places just like them. If we don't live like that, we think we are leading a failed life and are incompetent.

Essentially, these things are not desires that originate from within me. Even if I achieve what others have done, it won't fundamentally resolve anything. This is because it's not my desire, but a mimetic desire. If we don't try to understand what our true desires, goals, and essence are, we will inevitably continue to live lives driven by the desires of others.

As someone who uses various social media platforms and sees a lot of people's news, I harbor many mimetic desires. I want to be famous like them, wield influence, be recognized, give lectures, have people come to me instead of me going to them, write books, earn more money than others, and have others admire my life. What a pitiful and fragile being I am.

Uncontrollable Human Desires

As the saying goes, human greed knows no bounds and we repeat the same mistakes, and we can't stop our desires. For example, after buying an Elantra, we want a Sonata, then a Grandeur, and now a Mercedes-Benz. It's not wrong to aspire to a higher level, but if the reason is simply to appear flashy and feel superior in the eyes of others, then it's just a gilded facade.

I'm no different. Even after placing an order for a Tucson Hybrid, I kept watching YouTube videos showcasing other cars. Without even driving the Tucson yet, I'm already thinking about getting this other car next. I thought this laptop was good enough, but I've been eyeing a better one and eventually bought it, a greedy act. My stomach is already full, but there are delicious snacks at home, and I'm still going to eat them, my gluttony. It's hard to control.

Separating Others' Desires from My Desires, and Considering the Context

Human desires are endless. The problem is that it's already difficult to control my own desires, but then I apply them to others and engage in mimetic desire. Desire begets desire. It's hard to control desire, but since it can lead to anger and suffering, we need to make an effort to control it.

In particular, we need to separate others' desires from our own desires. If my circumstances are like this, but I'm envious of someone else's desires and try to follow them, my life could be ruined. To put it simply, if my economic situation is worse than others', what could be more foolish than trying to live like them? In the Bible, mimetic desire led people to abandon others and even commit murder.

Ultimately, it's about being 'myself'. Whatever other people's desires are, I can live my own life. I need to be able to find contentment in the present, find things to be grateful for in my current life, be thankful for small things, and feel happy just as I am. I am not lacking compared to others, and I deserve to be loved and respected, and I have strengths too.

I might not have a car and it might be inconvenient compared to others, but maybe someone can give me a ride, or I can use public transportation. So, I'm grateful for the people who give me rides, I'm grateful for my ability to connect with people and have them around me, I'm grateful to be born in Korea with a well-developed public transportation system, and I'm grateful to have the money to use that public transportation. In this way, I can control my desires and move towards gratitude.

I believe that a blessed life is one where I am above desire, where I don't follow others' desires out of envy, and therefore a life that moves towards the realm of 'being myself'.